Develop Intimacy, Deepen Connection, Create Sexual Peace & Integration
I'm Jamie Abenroth, MA, LMHCA, CIIP an invested psychotherapist, couples therapist and sex therapist with ongoing professional, advanced training in sexuality for couples and individuals in Seattle, Washington.
I am committed to growing, as a psychotherapist, sex therapist, and human being. I have been influenced and attended multiple day training sessions by master sex therapists (including Dr. Gina Ogden, Dr. David Schnarch, Dr. Ruth Morehouse, & Dr. Tina Shermer-Sellers) and receive ongoing supervision from sexologists, sex therapists, and depth psychoanalyst Doug Hansen.
I am committed to professional and personal work because I am passionate about helping free human beings up to be their most stunning, alive selves. This means that I'll assist you living into yourself at a deeper level, with deeper clarity, and directly addressing the barriers which impede you from doing so.
I am currently accepting new patients - both couples and individuals for 50 and 80 minute sessions.
If you are interested in beginning couples therapy, individual therapy, and/or sex therapy with me, you can contact me by clicking here:
What is sex therapy?
Sex therapy is psychotherapeutic treatment of sexual and desire issues that are impeding you from greater emotional, psychological, spiritual, and embodied contact and freedom in yourself and/or with a partner.
Here are specific concerns you may have, if you are considering sex therapy, as an individual or as a couple:
- I feel anxiety & fear around being sexual
- I feel resentment for having to be sexual with my partner
- My partner pressures me for sex
- I feel sexually broken or like something is wrong with me
- I have shame around being sexual
- I am in a sexless marriage
- I feel no sexual desire for my partner
- One of us wants sex way more than the other
- My sexual relationship is frustrating and dissatisfying
- I feel sexually rejected
- Our sexual relationship used to be great. What happened? Can we get it back?
- I don't know what I'm sexually interested in
- I rarely talk with anyone about sex
- One of us/both of us had an affair and we're dealing with the impact
- I'm concerned I'll have an affair/I'm concerned my partner is going to have an affair
Sex Therapy can help with:
- expanding your understanding & practice of sexuality
- relational repair after infidelity
- understanding & shifting low or no sexual desire
- understanding desire discrepancies between partners (i.e. one partner wants to be sexual more than the other)
- learning the differences between pornographic sex and investing in an ongoing, sexual relationship
- increasing intimacy & passion in relationships
- resolving/improving sexual dysfunctions:
- difficulties with orgasm (or never have experienced an orgasm)
- pelvic pain
- premature and delayed ejaculation
- erectile difficulties
When my patients talk about themselves as sexual beings we are doing integrative work. So many factors in my patients' lives have disconnected their minds and hearts from their bodies' natural abilities to respond and become alive. I help my patients understand why and where they are dissociating and disconnecting and help them move into their underlying internal experience so they can become present and grounded. Most of us have been taught that sexuality is about genitals; that's an extremely limited view, considering the immense capacity of human beings to feel and know each others' hearts and desires at extremely personal levels.
I help my patients get personal and close to themselves, which allows them to integrate their feelings of sensuality into their lives. Eroticism is about feeling alive - it's about being in extremely close contact with the core and essence of you, and allowing another human being (with the capacity to do so) to know you there. It's personal. It's enlivening TO YOU because it is inherently revealing of YOU. That's why people's anxiety often increases around sexual behavior. It's not what you're doing that is anxiety provoking; the anxiety comes from what you're trying to show another person about you!
I work from a non-pathological approach, which means that I fundamentally believe you and what you are experiencing makes complete sense in the context of your lived experiences. I'm here to listen to you at a deep level - and sort through the feelings and symptoms that have meaning, insight, and wisdom that we'll use to free you up from your current struggles.
When we touch down into deeper aspects of the feelings and relational struggles you experience, you will become more present, aware and grounded in your body. You'll have a felt sense of moving through your anxiety into a core emotion, and then have the experience over time of becoming increasingly calm. Often people avoid what they feel because they have a sense that it will be overwhelming or will make them feel panic. I believe that it is the avoidance of what you feel and know that is getting in the way and increasing your sense of distress. We'll get through that by connecting multiple dimensions of you simultaneously, moving you into the core experience so you can feel and find relief. And then, from that grounded place, we'll learn together how to increase your strength and get you connected to your life-giving desires.
You'll know what more integrated experiences feel like, because you'll be living into them. We'll listen to what you're feeling and hear your own wisdom emerge from the strongest places inside of you.
While I specialize in sexuality and intimacy issues, I am also trained as a psychotherapist where sexual issues are not the primary issue. My training includes:
- treating repetitive relational patterns
- treating anxiety, depression & understanding root causes
- helping you to differentiate in co-dependent, emotionally fused relationships
- healing trauma & abuse in the context of understanding and challenging historically protective defenses in new, loving contexts
- understanding the root of compulsive & addictive behaviors
In working with my patients I utilize Relational Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Mind Mapping Therapy, Psychoanalytic thought, Attachment Theory and Object Relations Theory. The core of these therapies points to the belief that you are fundamentally wired for relationship and intimacy, that you have been profoundly influenced by your primary relationships, and that you have competing drives to connect and become a distinct, solid individual. My patients become determined to grow as they face the frustrations, distress and pain they currently experience inter-personally and internally because they make meaning out of their struggle. They risk, learn to tolerate and care for a myriad of their emotions, and work to live out of the best parts of themselves, even when it's difficult to do so. It is a profound privilege for me to meet with them as they risk being open with me, themselves and their partners. It's absolutely courageous and stunning!
I focus on noticing and challenging your self-imposed barriers to connection and intimacy that have been historically protective of you. Being hard on yourself isn't helpful because you are undermining the energy and desire it takes to change. When you challenge your own thoughts, behaviors and motivations from a strong place inside of you, that's different. That's where we want to hover together: in that place where you are known and accepted, where you touch upon your own strength and resilience (and it's abundant!), and are able to reconsider if the ways you interact are life-giving and nourishing to your heart, or restrictive and minimizing of you. I believe people's deepest longings are often to be loved and known. Living into these longings require strength, perseverance, and the awakening of desire that can mobilize you. Being known, valued and loved by yourself and others is invigorating and expansive. And it's inherently risky - because it involves wanting and choosing. And choosing requires investment and really showing up with all of you. The subjective experience of 'being totally present' is profound and helps my clients continue to crave deeper intimacy.
YOUR TASK IS NOT TO SEEK FOR LOVE,
BUT MERELY TO SEEK AND FIND ALL
THE BARRIERS WITHIN YOURSELF
THAT YOU HAVE BUILT AGAINST IT.
I write about intimacy and sexuality and ideas that I believe will be most helpful to readers. Some of the work is my own, and some of it is pulling thoughts and wisdom from other therapists, researchers and artists. To receive my thoughts on sexuality, relationships, and embodiment exercises to increase intimacy, visit my BLOG:
Or, VISIT or LIKE my Jamie Abenroth Therapy Facebook Page here: